The thing that blows air to block out noise should be coming on Thursday.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
My Dad
It seems he just wants to stimulate me with perverted thoughts of being superior.
However, I've been getting on okay with him, lately, in person. I just got mad on my blog at the world and had to use him. :| I just get mad when people are mean and wrong, and I'm not like a lot of people, in a lot of ways. I mean like people in America...
However, I've been getting on okay with him, lately, in person. I just got mad on my blog at the world and had to use him. :| I just get mad when people are mean and wrong, and I'm not like a lot of people, in a lot of ways. I mean like people in America...
More Pictures
I have some really good pictures of me when I was 9 with straight hair, but I don't have them now. I think they're negatives my mom didn't develop yet, for a few years. We lost our albums in the hurricane because of the dog. We took them all out before when we didn't have a dog. That was when we first moved.
Growing Up
I think as a baby we lived just above where Johnny Depp grew up. That picture I had up of me, I could go get, though I don't really want to spend my time on it, of me as an infant with white skin and blue eyes, grayish, dark blue, solid, sparkly eyes, which all babies have, and no I wasn't born white, there were some other versions that didn't look good. I wasn't bad but very uncomfortable, like I was being sexed up for some reason, like I wanted to be an adult early but not experience the European traits of a young girl "yet" like most people grow up doing. Anyway, I looked as though I was stimulated in that way that's like more non-human and perverted, very much so, but I wasn't really. I felt like I could and simply did everything I could not not feel stimulated. It seemed I would never have to, for sure, because of what I did, like it was natural, kinda complex. I see my toes used to bear resemblence to my mom, as a newborn, but then they flared out and looked kinda solid as my dad, which I don't believe I liked. I think it stimulated me. Also, I guess I seemed kinda shocked, kinda like my mom's dad. I guess later on, I was more like her mom or more like her sometimes.
When I was 1 or 2, we went back to where I was created, along the beach above a major city in Southeastern Florida, the 2nd major city to Miami-Dade.
When I was 1 or 2, we went back to where I was created, along the beach above a major city in Southeastern Florida, the 2nd major city to Miami-Dade.
2 Good Dreams from Old Blogs
There was one where Ellen DeGeneres put her arms under my arms and lifted me way up to where she was standing telling me to get up and go to the bathroom.
There was another one this weekend where Orla Fallon had been with me and was putting her arm around my waist and it felt like so echoing so infinite (after I had woken up to the idea of my daughter being tortured, spun out of control for hours) like little orbs of feeling emitting from my waist, echoing to the bottom of the earth ... while we were standing in front of Tim Burton, like I was gonna half work with him or actually leave him. With her and maybe other people in Europe I get the strong feeling of having European ancestry from my dad and non-American heritage from my mom. So, I've never really felt that good before. It was sorta a funky feeling. Definitely. A sorta inward twisted kinda befuddled feeling, as I've often graduated to feeling lately rather than disgusting and dumb.
I guess another neat dream was when I saw a very neat, small church daycare where it was like pristine like another land and the kids were tucked away, a fat one just scrambling in somewhere. This was a few months ago and started one of my past blogs.
Another good one was where Tim Burton was teaching and he lifted me up to do ballet. I did really well and had a little harder move.
I also had an interesting dream of him disappearing like on an escalater at a big mall through a door, as a Batman director. I kept looking for him and couldn't find him.
Also, the person I had been putting my arm around and feeling good was Orla Fallon.
There was another one this weekend where Orla Fallon had been with me and was putting her arm around my waist and it felt like so echoing so infinite (after I had woken up to the idea of my daughter being tortured, spun out of control for hours) like little orbs of feeling emitting from my waist, echoing to the bottom of the earth ... while we were standing in front of Tim Burton, like I was gonna half work with him or actually leave him. With her and maybe other people in Europe I get the strong feeling of having European ancestry from my dad and non-American heritage from my mom. So, I've never really felt that good before. It was sorta a funky feeling. Definitely. A sorta inward twisted kinda befuddled feeling, as I've often graduated to feeling lately rather than disgusting and dumb.
I guess another neat dream was when I saw a very neat, small church daycare where it was like pristine like another land and the kids were tucked away, a fat one just scrambling in somewhere. This was a few months ago and started one of my past blogs.
Another good one was where Tim Burton was teaching and he lifted me up to do ballet. I did really well and had a little harder move.
I also had an interesting dream of him disappearing like on an escalater at a big mall through a door, as a Batman director. I kept looking for him and couldn't find him.
Also, the person I had been putting my arm around and feeling good was Orla Fallon.
Dream
So, it's hard to remember but a nice dream. I was thinking of different people but had to do it manually. I was in bed. I was over somewhere with a bunch of people, including family. In real life, I was sad and don't remember why. So, I'd been feeling good imagning my back was being rubbed while I was like with my body against someone. It wasn't so concrete. Then, I imagined, for some reason, that it was right to touch someone's private and that it was being rubbed and touched and it made me feel good. However, then, I felt lots of pressure and saw a mist and pattern blowing hard and it threw me off the bed maybe 8 times. I think the pillow flew from me, too. I think I found a way to stay. I must have had my pillow between my legs. I started riding on it through a like mall for maybe 5 minutes it seemed. It felt good, kinda like being slightly stimulated, more of a jump than having your back rubbed but a bit funky. I guess I came back and this was bad and made me wake up so mad. My mom and grandma were pulling the pillow away from me. I got mad at them and thought of some bad things. No, I didn't want to, but I did. They didn't really do this, and I finally realized this was a dream. So, I was grovelling feeling bad not knowing what to do nor think when I woke up.
I think the rest was pretty interesting. I don't remember right now. :|
I had to stimulate myself and realized for some reason, maybe because I'm Chinese-Indonesian, that it didn't work, and that I was from Southeastern Florida, originally. I just put up a picture of me when I was almost 1 1|2 visiting up north and remember that's when I lived in more upscale cities in Florida. We must have moved to where Johnny Depp grew up when I was 2. My skin was dark at one point as a baby, too, but it got dark again and then in pre-school got light. It got dark again when I did baton and then got light again and I wore sunblock.
So, yes, I was feeling my blanket, and it literally felt like my blanket, though I only felt it a little. I've had problems making up people, and they usually seem inspired from real life people.
Oh, yes, I remember, I was with someone and they like did something with their hand next to me and I made myself stimulated for it. I guess it seemed like 2 people in one, quite a bit taller, tan skin. They were upset at the other person who seem terribly fumbled because they would get mad if I didn't make myself feel stimulated by them, in appreciation, like my hand or arm felt stimulated. The person just wouldn't, you know?
Now, what was I gonna say? Ah yea, I woke up and it felt like there was pressure over one of my arms and I realized my hand was on it after maybe 1|2 minute or so. I realized the picture I made of me being touched had something wrong with it, that my hand was on the person's forearm and seemed weird, though I don't know why. :( I have this fetish about looking limp. I guess I need to take a special picture if I want to do more of these. I was supposed to go out to eat with my brother and dad but was tired from the day's activity this time. I should be eating better now, too.
I think the rest was pretty interesting. I don't remember right now. :|
I had to stimulate myself and realized for some reason, maybe because I'm Chinese-Indonesian, that it didn't work, and that I was from Southeastern Florida, originally. I just put up a picture of me when I was almost 1 1|2 visiting up north and remember that's when I lived in more upscale cities in Florida. We must have moved to where Johnny Depp grew up when I was 2. My skin was dark at one point as a baby, too, but it got dark again and then in pre-school got light. It got dark again when I did baton and then got light again and I wore sunblock.
So, yes, I was feeling my blanket, and it literally felt like my blanket, though I only felt it a little. I've had problems making up people, and they usually seem inspired from real life people.
Oh, yes, I remember, I was with someone and they like did something with their hand next to me and I made myself stimulated for it. I guess it seemed like 2 people in one, quite a bit taller, tan skin. They were upset at the other person who seem terribly fumbled because they would get mad if I didn't make myself feel stimulated by them, in appreciation, like my hand or arm felt stimulated. The person just wouldn't, you know?
Now, what was I gonna say? Ah yea, I woke up and it felt like there was pressure over one of my arms and I realized my hand was on it after maybe 1|2 minute or so. I realized the picture I made of me being touched had something wrong with it, that my hand was on the person's forearm and seemed weird, though I don't know why. :( I have this fetish about looking limp. I guess I need to take a special picture if I want to do more of these. I was supposed to go out to eat with my brother and dad but was tired from the day's activity this time. I should be eating better now, too.
Constant Mess
My life has not been smooth since I thought Nell Burton's weird parents wanted me to call her the "n" word.
Also, poeple are so into me about like thinking how others did all these things and weren't considered good enough, while I used to be or soaked in the idea I was really good.
This mess is constant. :|
Also, poeple are so into me about like thinking how others did all these things and weren't considered good enough, while I used to be or soaked in the idea I was really good.
This mess is constant. :|
"The Ellen DeGeneres Show" Website
I haven't posted there in awhile but will tell you when I do, I think.
Aspirations
It's interesting. I got into Tim Burton after Johnny Depp. At first, I wanted to be model. I wanted to become a minor actor and then become a major actor and like make it in maybe a big movie directed and designed by Tim Burton. =] Then, I got back into singing and was interested in animation and still am.
Now, I'm watching Ellen DeGeneres because I like her and now I'm thinking of becoming famous as a person though I'm also into the arts a lot and skilled in them all.
I'm making it online and improving myself. I feel a bit unhealthy and need to go to the grocery store, so my singing wasn't as great as it could be. Maybe, I haven't eaten as healthy enough. I am hungry for good food, so I guess I can manage that, too, without having to cook too much since I don't always have a lot of time to myself though should be getting on the ball, soon, for some reason...
I did 2 major drawings lately. I need to practice acting. I'm doing an Anne Frank monologue. It's rather long, though. =| I started walking again, though, need to do the workout DVD. I went shopping online and missed 2 episodes of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" so have to go back and watch another episode. I'm just having so much fun, online. :)
Now, I'm watching Ellen DeGeneres because I like her and now I'm thinking of becoming famous as a person though I'm also into the arts a lot and skilled in them all.
I'm making it online and improving myself. I feel a bit unhealthy and need to go to the grocery store, so my singing wasn't as great as it could be. Maybe, I haven't eaten as healthy enough. I am hungry for good food, so I guess I can manage that, too, without having to cook too much since I don't always have a lot of time to myself though should be getting on the ball, soon, for some reason...
I did 2 major drawings lately. I need to practice acting. I'm doing an Anne Frank monologue. It's rather long, though. =| I started walking again, though, need to do the workout DVD. I went shopping online and missed 2 episodes of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" so have to go back and watch another episode. I'm just having so much fun, online. :)
"Torturing" People
I hate people who want to correct people who are mean to you and don't care about your own feelings because other people also matter to you and it's like they want to brutalize them.
What do you want to be when you come out of the meat locker? Look at kids today compared to people like Ellen DeGeneres. Ellen DeGeneres still is Ellen DeGeneres. =}
...
What do you want to be when you come out of the meat locker? Look at kids today compared to people like Ellen DeGeneres. Ellen DeGeneres still is Ellen DeGeneres. =}
...
@ZooeyDeschanel - Howdy, partner! :D
Hi, Zooey! I really admire you. How are you? I mean how old? I better go check, now! I thought you were very young. I saw you on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show." Wow, she is so motherly. Well, I just wanted to tell you you look a lot like her. I see your last name is French, too. I see we're the same ethnicity, except I'm German but not very much. So, now I know you, Ellen DeGeneres, and Orla Fallon as the ones with French last names with different backgrounds otherwise. It's funny I know two people who seems similar, one with a French last name and another with an Irish last name. They seem more German or Eastern European...? I mean, thank you, so much, for putting up the picture of you as your background of when you were a little girl! You look so much like Ellen DeGeneres. My dad's dad's side of the family sires girls who look something like that, too, but with not as molded out of faces. You do look a little Chinese, you must admit, but everyone would know you aren't. It was the opposite for me. It was so painful. Anyway, nice chatting with you. I look forward to seeing more of you in the future! I wish you were younger like me. You're not so old... I guess you're between Orla Fallon's and my ages.
Protecting My Ears
I got a machine that creates loud sounds of air waves for about $45 and had to order foam ear plugs at Amazon.com.
Already, I've spent about $30 on Nook Books on Personality Types integrations and $20 on karaokes etc. on iTunes.
I'm waiting another week to see what I want to be for Halloween. I am definitely going Trick-or-Treating. I'd enjoy going alone, but my mom comes with me and brings my brother's old dog, a Golden Retriever. I usually get very tired of walking. I guess I'll stop by a cute boy's house I usually don't. I'll have to help pick out the candy we're giving out, too.
Already, I've spent about $30 on Nook Books on Personality Types integrations and $20 on karaokes etc. on iTunes.
I'm waiting another week to see what I want to be for Halloween. I am definitely going Trick-or-Treating. I'd enjoy going alone, but my mom comes with me and brings my brother's old dog, a Golden Retriever. I usually get very tired of walking. I guess I'll stop by a cute boy's house I usually don't. I'll have to help pick out the candy we're giving out, too.
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